BindyJJnSwitch

Assorted rantings and ravings of the past week.

I don't know why but I'm upset, very upset. Rattled to the core even. I want to get out of the house, shop, eat icecream and perhaps knit in the botanic gardens for the afternoon. To hell with the consequences, I've had enough. It just seems like one thing after another and I want OUT!

Stories of the past week:

My last remaining grandparent died on Monday night. I was never close to her, she yelled and screamed at me for no reason when I was a kid and I've never forgotten. My mother always painted her to be a bad person so I suppose I picked up on that without really getting to know Nanna in my adult lifetime. Her death was not unexpected she's been very sick for a long time, its a small miracle she lasted as long as she did.

I'm 29 weeks now, which in itself is a good thing. It's just that I've had enough of the medical poking and prodding and the associated dealing with people bullsh!t that's associated with so many doctors visits. At my last OB appointment I was asked to organise an ultrasound for this coming Monday, a few hours before the next OB appointment. The sonography clinic has nothing available until after next Monday. ERGH. So I ring yesterday hoping that they may have had a cancellation. "Nothing available? Fine, shall I ring back tomorrow to see if you have anything or do you have some sort of waiting list?" Next thing I know they fit me in yesterday at 10.30am. Great, a scan a few days before my Monday will just have to do.
I go in for the scan and was questioned over and over why it was so urgent. I was questioned why I was to have a growth scan as well as a cervix check. I was only doing what I was asked by my OB, I dont know her reasoning over the growth scan.
So there is nothing wrong with my cervix, we're still holding at 3+cms with no funneling. Baby is right on the 50th percentile for weight at 1.3kgs, still sitting frank breech, but there's low amniotic fluid volume.
The sonographer was quite short with me, the whole experience left a bad taste in my mouth, particularly after they charged me $320, far more than I have ever been charged before at that clinic. As I left she said it's likely I'll need to go back next week to check fluid volume and placental function. ERGH. Do I really need any more risk factors? Yes I know I should have left Dr Google alone re the low fluid thing, but I didn't. It can be a sign of kidney/bladder abnormalities, high blood pressure, foetal distress etc. It leads to poor oxygenation of baby with resulting growth retardation etc. I may be on proper, lying on my left side type bed rest after the 34 weeks mark when I had thought I could get up and party. With any kind of luck this kid just has a bladder the size of an olympic swimming pool, like mine, and they caught her before a mammoth pee. Up until the next OB appointment I'll get serious on the kick counting and concentrating on drinking loads of water.

To top this off I've had the MIL ringing on a daily basis to see how my appointments have gone or how I'm feeling. Yesterday she left a message "Belinda, it's Mum." Hello, lady, you are not my mother and thus you get no callback.
Daniel has gone into panic mode re the low fluid volume and is calling several times a day to get kick updates. The is too much pressure on me, its just not fair, I want it over.

It feels so much better to get that out. Thanks for listening. It's possibly a good thing that I have a counselling appointment this afternoon.

Labels: Pregnancy

posted by Bindy @ 10:08 AM